SafeHaven

I was born in Russia, on the very edge of North Korea. I don’t know much about my background except that my birth mom was drinking when she was pregnant with me. Shortly after I was born, I was taken from my mother and put into an orphanage. At four years old I was adopted to a “nice” white family and moved to the United States. I have 3 adoptive siblings as well. On the outside we looked fine, obviously I stood out a bit because of my Asian genes. My mom is blonde and my dad is a ginger. All of my siblings have dark hair. So, if anything, people would ask if they were also adopted. So again, on the outside we looked fine. They seemed to love me and care for me. However, behind closed doors, it was a living hell for me. They ostracized me and never let me forget that I was different. I was sent to bed without meals and blamed when I developed an eating disorder. I was so lonely and blamed when I acted out for attention. I was so depressed and blamed when I started expressing doubt about my life. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and OCD and insomnia at a very young age, basically as soon as I was adopted. So, I’ve been on medication since I was four years old, along with being in therapy for the same amount of time. With my family, they were all “perfect.” They were the “typical American family” and then I was just there. My parents would always say that I was ruining their image as if it wasn’t their decision to adopt me. My parents saved my life while destroying it at the same time.